New Directions

I can't believe I forgot to post so soon into my "I'm going to post every day" promise. I'm sure you expected it; I had just hoped to defy those expectations.

I might be able to make up for it, though. Because I've had an idea.

You ever watched Oprah? I have, but never regularly. I think it's impossible to be of a certain generation in this country and be able to claim you've avoided the woman altogether. But I think for most women under the age of 40, Oprah is more useful as the butt of jokes than as an entertaining, enjoyable talk show host.

When Katie (more about her another time) turned the channel to Oprah the other day to see what was happening (the answer: a repeat with some dude -- Nate, maybe -- who decorates houses or something for Oprah), I made a joke that I would watch every episode of the final season of the show. Oh, you haven't heard? Yeah, Oprah is returing after this season, never to be heard from again.

Except she's starting her own network. Literally. It's called OWN, as in Oprah Winfrey Network. Or, as in, "one day I will OWN the world."

So today I was flipping channels while hanging out with the boy, and I happened to notice that the premiere of the final season airs today. I quickly set a season pass on the DVR, and then I started thinking. Maybe I actually can watch every episode of this final season. Maybe it's important that I witness every moment of this pop culture phenomenon before she rides off into the sunset.

And then I wondered why the hell I would do that to myself, unless I also chose to write about it. Instantly, the blog title "Watching Oprah" popped into my head. After that, I remembered I had heard something about a woman who dedicated a year of her life to worshipping Oprah living the Oprah Winfrey way. She blogged about it, too, at Living Oprah. That's cool and all, but I'm not interested in following Oprah's advice. I'm mostly just intrigued: Can one human as sarcastic and skeptical as I am actually get through an entire season of this self-righteous billionaire's advice and condescension?

Which is not to say I'm going into this with any bias.

I'm annoyed that I may be perceived as stealing this Living Oprah woman's idea. After all, she got a book deal, so maybe I'm just looking for that level of fame, right? Well, I'm not. I'm just looking for something mildly entertain to write five times a week. I know this may be regarded as a dumb idea. I'm willing to accept that. I also know that most of my readers are men, so it's possible you won't all feel like following me, thinking you'll be getting Erin's version of The Vagina Monologues or something. All I can do is ask you to trust me about that, and give me a chance.

The gist of all this is that I'm treating it as a writing exercise. At some point, Oprah is bound to do something not completely annoying, and I won't be afraid to admit it. But I also won't be afraid to take on the media giant and her terrible, awful, no-good interviewing skills.

Listen up, Oprah. I have maybe nine readers, and we are a formidable lot.


Watching Oprah (the layout is a work in progress, so please don't hold that against me)